Fifty-one Percent

The Soul is like a scale. What weighs the most is what you see in your life.

One of my favorite things about Jesus was His humility. He never took credit for the miracles that emanated from His life.

He simply stated that “I and the Father are One “(John 10:30), that “greater is He that’s in me (1 John 4:4); and that He only did what He saw the Father doing (John 5:19). His entire life was one of devotion, surrender and obedience to God. 

I believe these characteristics are not just the forerunners of miracles, but the Good Success we all crave... and they’ve been a big clue of where I’ve needed to grow and mature Spiritually.

But I used to look at Jesus and His personality as something so far out there - something that I would never be capable of - and yet living as He did is what He expects of us. 

And it’s not just the miracles: the healing and miraculous catches of fish, or feeding thousands of people with nearly nothing…I’ve realized where I really need to be like Jesus starts on the inside; not just with the desire to trust and obey, but with emotional priorities.

Emotional Priorities

The first time I heard Holy Spirit say that I did a double-take: emotional priorities? That was kind of a shocker…but then Holy Spirit took me back to  Jesus saying “greater is He”. 

But what does that really mean? He told me it wasn’t just that God is greater in terms of deeds; it’s that God is greater, period. God is greater than disappointment, lack, confusion, strife…any struggle I could ever experience. 

Holy Spirit then took me down a step deeper and said that in addition, the love and priority I have for God has to be greater than the love I have for anyone or anything else. 

Jesus said it this way:

Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. (Matthew 10:37)

What? I had never heard that preached before - ever.

And yet in that moment it crystallized for me: one of the main reasons Jesus was able to fulfill His Assignment was because of the Love He had for God. God was always greater than anything or anyone else. And from that heart posture of Being Yielded in Love, He was able to access and Flow in the power of Holy Spirit, and complete His Assignment as the Savior of the world.

When that Truth registered for me I was immediately intimidated. I mean, how was I ever supposed to get there? 

And I had to admit it: God was not my number emotional priority. At that time in my life, I was my number one emotional priority. I cared more about what I wanted, when I wanted it, and how I was feeling - over anyone or anything else. Sure I could compromise from time to time, but for the most part, my number one priority was me getting what I wanted…as much as possible.

I realized that I really just wanted the “good parts” of a relationship with God…I wanted to be Blessed and Highly Favored, but I didn’t want the obedience. I wanted to escape from Hell, but I didn’t really want to live Holy. It all just seemed like too much to expect from me…

And then Holy Spirit said: “Greater is not all or nothing. Part of why you’re here is to love and be loved. This is about getting your love for God to fifty-one percent (so that he outweighs anything else) to start, and let it grow from there.”

Wow - what a relief! And Holy Spirit went on to tell me that my relationship with God is just that - a relationship. Relationships grow and deepen over time - and so it is and will be with God.

The Shift

So how did I do it? How did I make the shift to get to fifty-one percent? 

Well, like any other relationship, I started spending more time with God. Specifically when it came to managing my emotions - which were way out of wack for quite a while (https://www.soulfreeacademy.com/product-page/releasing-anxiety)…

I would get alone with Him and just tell Him what I was feeling -even the hard stuff - like when I was mad or frustrated with Him.

Looking back I can see that this was the beginning of me really hearing from God and beginning to understand the ways that He communicates with me beyond words. 

How He releases peace and comfort and hope to me. He became my number one emotional priority because He is the One who comforts and guides me; dissolves the pain and brings rest and peace. He is the One who cares for my emotions.

The Blessing of First Love

Today I can say that God is way beyond fifty-one percent. He is far and away my First Love, and yet somehow I now have more bandwidth to love myself and other people. 

With God as my First Love, I’m not hard on myself or other people. I have patience for where He’s leading me; I live in hope and Divine Optimism because He is my Shepherd.

And going to Him first with my feelings is now instinct. Before I call anyone else, I go to Him. He’s the One person that I don’t have to be edited with. Whatever I bring He can handle it, and I don’t have to wonder if He’ll share my private details with anyone else.

What started in intimidation has ended in comfort, hope and peace. And as I continue to lay down my self-centeredness and pride, focusing on Him, letting Him be greater; the blurriness and confusion of my life are gone.